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    Hi. This is a very delicate topic for me, but I’m feeling alone in this situation and I could use some friendly advice.

    Since my mom died my dad has been living on his own, but lately I’ve seen some changes in his habits and his health, and I’m worried for him. I’m thinking it could be time for him to move to a nursing home, but I’m sure he will disagree if I bring up the topic.

    A friend who is taking care of her sick mother at home told me that I was very selfish for thinking about sending my dad to a nursing home, and that I should spend more time taking care of him instead. I don’t know what to do.

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    I’m sorry to hear that! First of all, you should not blame yourself for thinking about it, and I don’t think it’s selfish of you. I’m sure you love your father very much, and all you want is for him to be safe and comfortable, and if a nursing home is the best option for that, then you should talk to him about it.

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    When you say you noticed changes in his habits and his health, what do you mean exactly?

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    Well, I noticed he is not as steady on his feet as he used to, he is walking very slowly. Sometimes when I talk to him he seems confused for a moment, and when I ask if he is ok he replies that he’s “just very tired”… He keeps saying he’s tired.

    Perhaps the thing that worries me the most is that he seems to always be wearing the same clothes, every time I see him (and I see him a few times a week) and I feel like… well, like he is not taking care of his hygiene as much as he used to.

    You know, just small things like this that accumulate and make me feel like maybe it would be good for him to have someone help him take care of himself… I work a lot and I’m always so busy, I can’t be there for him all the time even though I wish I could.

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    Sounds to me like moving to a nursing home could be a good thing for him, yes. Taking care of his home on his own could be difficult, but in a nursing home there would be people ready to help him with daily tasks and activities at all times, so he could truly relax and enjoy life, perhaps make new friends.

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    I went through the same thing with my mother last year… It was obvious to me she could not live on her own much longer, but when I told her maybe moving to a nursing home could be good for her, she got so angry… Each time I would try to discuss this with her, she would get angry.

    I finally managed to convince her to at least visit a nursing home, just to see what it was like… It turned out that one of her closest friends had moved there a month before our visit, so when they started chatting together my mother just didn’t want to leave! Now she’s very happy, and it’s good to see her enjoy her life there.

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    That’s awesome! So a simple visit convinced her?

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    It did. Midland Gardens Seniors Apartment is really a good place for her, she feels at home more than when she was living alone in her small apartment.

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    I’m glad she does. And thank you all for your advice, I know trying to convince my dad won’t be easy, but in the end I hope he will understand that I just want him to be safe.